Letting go

I want to believe in possibilities. I want to free fall, into love. But I sense, that the minute I let myself go. The minute I believe in it, things will go to shit. Things will fall apart. One of us, or both of us will break this bond between us. I still feel that maybe I am not yet that person who is lucky enough to fall in love.

I see him looking at me when we are together and I watch him fall. I see him, fall. It is amazing to stare straight into his eyes and watch him pull me in. We talk about the future and I know rationally, that he needs to do things for him. That all decisions needs to be because it is something he wants and not because I am there. But he tells me that it cannot be so, that I am part of the reasoning behind his decision. That I become part of the reasoning there.

I see him lying in the grass. I hear the words coming out of his mouth. I sense his sadness at the end of this short journey of us. It all comes together, all rational thoughts and fears collapse and in that moment, I fall head first, free fall, into him.

I let the butterflies soar.