I look back and realize, I was in love with you a forever ago, but I am still in love with the me I have become.
***
The truth of the matter is, I detest... ABSOLUTELY detest, women who make a decision for a man. I know women who are willing to move to a new country, drop everything at the drop of a hat when a man asks them too.
Im not talking about long term commitments here, Im talking about women in short term relationships here.
And you know what, besides that, I detest women who stick with a boyfriend even when they no longer love them. Who hold on because life alone is that much more scary. Those who hold on to someone, find someone else, and THEN only break up with the first guy. Those who need to be needed to be validated
Adding to that list are women who go around NON-STOP looking for man. Women who would go and pick up ANYONE just to try and find something... someone, to fill in that lonely gap in their heart. Women who cant look in the mirror and realize how truly amazing they are, and that if a man can't see that, than too bad for them, but if she cant see how amazing she is, how devastating for her.
Im just cranky right now. And ranting
*RAWR*
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Monday, 19 September 2011
Sometimes in life things dont necessarily go your way
I was having a nice long online chat with a good friend today, and we chanced upon the topic of my move. And how she felt about it.
"So jealous" she says
And I thought to myself, why I've been jealous of her too. Of her travelling, being so mobile, being so adventurous. Of her having found a great man, a partner who is willing to travel with her. Ive been jealous of my other friends who decided to take a leap of faith and take on a new job, a new geography. A new life.
I know that inside, we are truly deeply happy for our friends, and wish them nothing but greatness, success. But a part of us will be, and will ask
"why not me?"
Ive come to realize over the past few weeks, months, a year or two even. Sometimes I do get consumed by this insane irrational feeling. It isnt so much jealousy as it is anger and frustration at the injustice the world throws at you. You feel that you too deserve what others are getting. That that other person doesnt deserve it, hasnt even worked as hard at it, hasnt even tried, and somehow the universe just delivers things on a silver platter to them.
Is life greener on the other side? Yes, some of my friends may envy the life I am about to embark on, but lets face it. I have no idea if this would be great or the worst year of my life. I have no idea if Im about to be kidnapped in Europe, or have the best dancing time in Africa. I have no idea if this would be the start of something brand new.
But at the same time, I also realized... I cant live in limbo like this. Constantly waiting for the next big milestone to symbolize the start of a new life, the challenge of something new. Life doesnt start now, life IS now. And we all need to embrace it, and look at the details of our lives for the things we should appreciate more.
By the way, that green eyed monster? Stare deep into its eye, ask yourself what is it that you are really worried about? be honest, admit jealousy if it really is that... and you will realize. The minute you identify it, that green eyed monster - he isnt so scary anymore
"So jealous" she says
And I thought to myself, why I've been jealous of her too. Of her travelling, being so mobile, being so adventurous. Of her having found a great man, a partner who is willing to travel with her. Ive been jealous of my other friends who decided to take a leap of faith and take on a new job, a new geography. A new life.
I know that inside, we are truly deeply happy for our friends, and wish them nothing but greatness, success. But a part of us will be, and will ask
"why not me?"
Ive come to realize over the past few weeks, months, a year or two even. Sometimes I do get consumed by this insane irrational feeling. It isnt so much jealousy as it is anger and frustration at the injustice the world throws at you. You feel that you too deserve what others are getting. That that other person doesnt deserve it, hasnt even worked as hard at it, hasnt even tried, and somehow the universe just delivers things on a silver platter to them.
Is life greener on the other side? Yes, some of my friends may envy the life I am about to embark on, but lets face it. I have no idea if this would be great or the worst year of my life. I have no idea if Im about to be kidnapped in Europe, or have the best dancing time in Africa. I have no idea if this would be the start of something brand new.
But at the same time, I also realized... I cant live in limbo like this. Constantly waiting for the next big milestone to symbolize the start of a new life, the challenge of something new. Life doesnt start now, life IS now. And we all need to embrace it, and look at the details of our lives for the things we should appreciate more.
By the way, that green eyed monster? Stare deep into its eye, ask yourself what is it that you are really worried about? be honest, admit jealousy if it really is that... and you will realize. The minute you identify it, that green eyed monster - he isnt so scary anymore
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)