I realized long ago how couples start their relationship is also likely to be how it ends. How he or she may move on to another. A relationship that starts because a man had cheated on his partner, only to end up with the girl he cheated on may likely end that relationship by cheating with someone else. A pattern begets a pattern. Or in this case, he is likely to know exactly what it felt like the first time, to understand what it feels like, and to be able to acclimitize to the emotional journey that came around the first time. Maybe the first time, it did eat at him, built on his guilt. But when he cheats on you, he knows what you knew, he knows how the new girls feels, how he is expected to feel. He can circumvent them all, justify them all.
Something that started without respect ends with a long drawn out hiss, not a pop.
The best relationships Ive had (and I use this term lightly now since I knew at the point we broke up Ive probably wanted to KILL THEM) were the ones that started mutually respectful. The ones where we were friends who talked to each other long into the night before we started having long nights together. They were the ones where there was no pretense, no lies, no hiding. Just being yourself, single, sharing your views, honesty, laughter.
But I guess sometimes, when you dont remember how a relationship started, you can just look at how it ends and trace that demon all the way to its head to see the similarities. Relationships that end under clouds of disrespect and deceit, probably started that way as well. No matter how you try to read a different picture.
I am not perfect, nor have I ever claimed to be. I have made so many mistakes in relationships past that I know what to avoid now in relationships future. Respect, honor. I am no longer anybody's doormat. I will be heard, I will be listened to, my opinions will matter (though of course I do not expect them to always be taken on). I will matter.
The biggest promise I made to myself is to always and immediately leave if a man ever physically abuses me. Then the list got longer to include a man who will cheat on me (I'm sorry, I do not believe a cheater ever changes, Ive had far too many experiences to prove otherwise), and I guess now I am adding a third. By looking back at how relationships end and begins, there is no forgiveness for a disrespectful offing. We are no longer in high school. Have the courage to tell me to my face.
But hey, Im pretty sure karma will come and get you too. It sure as hell did got me.
Something that started without respect ends with a long drawn out hiss, not a pop.
The best relationships Ive had (and I use this term lightly now since I knew at the point we broke up Ive probably wanted to KILL THEM) were the ones that started mutually respectful. The ones where we were friends who talked to each other long into the night before we started having long nights together. They were the ones where there was no pretense, no lies, no hiding. Just being yourself, single, sharing your views, honesty, laughter.
But I guess sometimes, when you dont remember how a relationship started, you can just look at how it ends and trace that demon all the way to its head to see the similarities. Relationships that end under clouds of disrespect and deceit, probably started that way as well. No matter how you try to read a different picture.
I am not perfect, nor have I ever claimed to be. I have made so many mistakes in relationships past that I know what to avoid now in relationships future. Respect, honor. I am no longer anybody's doormat. I will be heard, I will be listened to, my opinions will matter (though of course I do not expect them to always be taken on). I will matter.
The biggest promise I made to myself is to always and immediately leave if a man ever physically abuses me. Then the list got longer to include a man who will cheat on me (I'm sorry, I do not believe a cheater ever changes, Ive had far too many experiences to prove otherwise), and I guess now I am adding a third. By looking back at how relationships end and begins, there is no forgiveness for a disrespectful offing. We are no longer in high school. Have the courage to tell me to my face.
But hey, Im pretty sure karma will come and get you too. It sure as hell did got me.
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