Seasons change, people change
Dinner with old friends from college. An ex actually, though an ex-what was something I never truly solved. Together with him one of his closest friend. She became a close friend of mine too over the years.
Every time I come down to Singapore I try to meet up with them. She and I get along well and I like her company. He and I probably hicupped along post our post college demise until suddenly one day it all worked out, and we could be friends exactly as friends could.
I found out tonight her husband had recently left his job.
"Things change so fast, the next thing I know, Ill come back and ex would be married"
"Actually maybe that's not so far ahead in the cards"
As I left him goodbye, and the cab drove away - Adele's Someone like you starts playing.
Such bittersweet irony.
But the thing is, what is this year if not one to look back and reflect and to learn. With him, I learnt to be stronger, I was reminded to not let people walk all over me. With him, I learnt to walk away.
I truly believe that you go through life with numerous soulmates. At that point in your life, with who you are as a person, perhaps that person was the right one for you. But as you change, and life changes, the right person for you changes too. He wasn't right for me, and he will never be right for me. But right now, with all my heart, I wish him a lifetime of happiness.
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Saturday, 25 June 2011
Beijing - unfinished business
In countries of a billion people, you will never feel alone.
I land first in Beijing, enveloped by old memories of my trip to China last year. It was one of the best vacations Ive ever had. Blue sky and perfect weather the whole time I was here last year. I was fascinated by the great beauty and precision of China, hanging on the other extreme of chaos you will find in India. I pray that this time around, it would be just as beautiful as the last.
I go through to the taxi stand and start the soon to be regular routine of pointing, mimicking, and attempting to communicate in my nearly non-existant Mandarin
Wo de piku hen ta* - my last vestige of Mandarin would not be useful here.
We get to the hotel located so close to The Forbidden City and Tiananmen square. In 1946, the Jade Garden Hotel was the headquarters of the communist ceasefire delegation and was designated a historical landmark. The facade a similar representation to the rest of the hutongs with its grey brick facade.
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I walk out and decide to head to The Temple of Heaven, a location I had missed on my last trip to China. Even in Beijing's great hustle and bustle, I love that you can head to quiet locations just for yourself.
By the time I get to The Temple of Heaven, admissions have been closed. I opt instead to just walk around and enjoy the evening activities around the park. I head towards the Hall of Prayers and hear a slap slap nearby. I walk on to see a long row of elder people playing card games along the corridors. Slapping down their cards. I hear singing emanating through the park, with beautiful string instruments playing in the background. Kites flying in the air. Cypress trees forming a forest. Walking alone and barely seeing other people.
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I watch as groups of people kick around a shuttlecock, an interesting mix of Sepak Takraw from Malaysia with a fusion of badminton. The old people dont look so old, fit in age, and healthy. They stretch to tai chi, wave their hands to modern dance and pause in wushu, their swords pointing directly at me.
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As I leave, a pink sunset descends, and I look behind me to see the Hall of Prayer for Good Harvest in the background. In the foreground, soft waltz music and an entire group of people learning the dance. They start separately, men and women practising on their own and then they merge, partner to partner, cheek to cheek.
You are reminded then of great beauty in this world.
***
Day 2
I leave my hotel and walk towards my office, realizing as we got there that its actually located within the Forbidden city itself. Why of why cant my company's office be located in as cool a place.
It isnt within the Forbidden City proper, but within one of the gates leading to the city. It turns out that we share the location with other NGOs but there is enough room for everyone. They have kept the old facade of the building, but instead opted to decorate the inside with bad copies of European art. Completely disconnecting from the beauty of the place.
After our meeting I walk outside with my manager and was greeted by the sight of a group of soldiers/ guards marching around as four different couples take their wedding pictures in this picturesque location. It is amazing, really how much more laid back it felt by just having an office in this location.
![]()
I look forward to returning and working here again hopefully not in the distant future.
I land first in Beijing, enveloped by old memories of my trip to China last year. It was one of the best vacations Ive ever had. Blue sky and perfect weather the whole time I was here last year. I was fascinated by the great beauty and precision of China, hanging on the other extreme of chaos you will find in India. I pray that this time around, it would be just as beautiful as the last.
I go through to the taxi stand and start the soon to be regular routine of pointing, mimicking, and attempting to communicate in my nearly non-existant Mandarin
Wo de piku hen ta* - my last vestige of Mandarin would not be useful here.
We get to the hotel located so close to The Forbidden City and Tiananmen square. In 1946, the Jade Garden Hotel was the headquarters of the communist ceasefire delegation and was designated a historical landmark. The facade a similar representation to the rest of the hutongs with its grey brick facade.
I walk out and decide to head to The Temple of Heaven, a location I had missed on my last trip to China. Even in Beijing's great hustle and bustle, I love that you can head to quiet locations just for yourself.
By the time I get to The Temple of Heaven, admissions have been closed. I opt instead to just walk around and enjoy the evening activities around the park. I head towards the Hall of Prayers and hear a slap slap nearby. I walk on to see a long row of elder people playing card games along the corridors. Slapping down their cards. I hear singing emanating through the park, with beautiful string instruments playing in the background. Kites flying in the air. Cypress trees forming a forest. Walking alone and barely seeing other people.
I watch as groups of people kick around a shuttlecock, an interesting mix of Sepak Takraw from Malaysia with a fusion of badminton. The old people dont look so old, fit in age, and healthy. They stretch to tai chi, wave their hands to modern dance and pause in wushu, their swords pointing directly at me.
As I leave, a pink sunset descends, and I look behind me to see the Hall of Prayer for Good Harvest in the background. In the foreground, soft waltz music and an entire group of people learning the dance. They start separately, men and women practising on their own and then they merge, partner to partner, cheek to cheek.
You are reminded then of great beauty in this world.
***
Day 2
I leave my hotel and walk towards my office, realizing as we got there that its actually located within the Forbidden city itself. Why of why cant my company's office be located in as cool a place.
It isnt within the Forbidden City proper, but within one of the gates leading to the city. It turns out that we share the location with other NGOs but there is enough room for everyone. They have kept the old facade of the building, but instead opted to decorate the inside with bad copies of European art. Completely disconnecting from the beauty of the place.
After our meeting I walk outside with my manager and was greeted by the sight of a group of soldiers/ guards marching around as four different couples take their wedding pictures in this picturesque location. It is amazing, really how much more laid back it felt by just having an office in this location.
I look forward to returning and working here again hopefully not in the distant future.
Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Lessons learnt
My friend Miss N quit consulting as well a while ago and she too decided to join an NGO (permanently). When I used to visit her and hear her stories I was in awe. Salary as good as us consultants? Business class flights? Top end hotels? Worldwide travels?! I was so jealous, and I looked forward to similar things when I decided to join the NGO.
NOT TRUE.
MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
Miss N was lucky I guess, to be in a place where she was offered all that. But as for me, ... well lets just say here were a few words of wisdom she left me with
1) Nobody moves as fast as we used to
Its true. In my previous company e-mails get responded to within 10 minutes. Even less sometimes. When you send out a request you expect people to understand that its urgent, and that you will hear back from them soon. Processes are efficient. Reimbursements come on time (well, most of the time). There are very clear principles, and guidelines. Our knowledge management system is efficient and trying to find data could take a day at max with you leveraging every network research staff.
In the real world people take more than 10 minutes to respond. They are not all married to their blackberries. Why some of them don't even have one (WTH?????) Sometimes it takes a full day to hear back from them.
Sometimes the dont even respond (WTH?????!!)
Oh, and you are the master of your own googling for data, and research. Trust me, I learnt that the hard way.
That brings me to lesson number two
2) You are the master of your own universe
It can be a good thing, it can be a bad thing. But essentially it means you have control of everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Be it the ridiculous flights you are trying to schedule - while trying to work within set budget - except you can't really because nobody has responded to your emails on guidelines, to booking your own hotels and reading up on agoda.com and trip advisor and google maps because you want to be relatively close to your office whilst staying in a hotel that isnt used for prosititution. To of course your own work hours, your lunch hours, your meet with friends hours. Your sleep and exercise hours. The universe is yours.
Learning to shed your old life is entirely up to you. The new Associate (who is currently working with me) asked me politely when I sent her yet another email at 10:00 p.m. to finish up a survey if "it wasn't urgent, would it be ok to work on this tomorrow". I stopped. Paused. And thought.
"Tomorrow. Indeed, why couldnt this wait until tomorrow."
Welcome to my new work life balance.
3) Be prepared to not live 'the good life'
NOT TRUE.
MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
Miss N was lucky I guess, to be in a place where she was offered all that. But as for me, ... well lets just say here were a few words of wisdom she left me with
1) Nobody moves as fast as we used to
Its true. In my previous company e-mails get responded to within 10 minutes. Even less sometimes. When you send out a request you expect people to understand that its urgent, and that you will hear back from them soon. Processes are efficient. Reimbursements come on time (well, most of the time). There are very clear principles, and guidelines. Our knowledge management system is efficient and trying to find data could take a day at max with you leveraging every network research staff.
In the real world people take more than 10 minutes to respond. They are not all married to their blackberries. Why some of them don't even have one (WTH?????) Sometimes it takes a full day to hear back from them.
Sometimes the dont even respond (WTH?????!!)
Oh, and you are the master of your own googling for data, and research. Trust me, I learnt that the hard way.
That brings me to lesson number two
2) You are the master of your own universe
It can be a good thing, it can be a bad thing. But essentially it means you have control of everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Be it the ridiculous flights you are trying to schedule - while trying to work within set budget - except you can't really because nobody has responded to your emails on guidelines, to booking your own hotels and reading up on agoda.com and trip advisor and google maps because you want to be relatively close to your office whilst staying in a hotel that isnt used for prosititution. To of course your own work hours, your lunch hours, your meet with friends hours. Your sleep and exercise hours. The universe is yours.
Learning to shed your old life is entirely up to you. The new Associate (who is currently working with me) asked me politely when I sent her yet another email at 10:00 p.m. to finish up a survey if "it wasn't urgent, would it be ok to work on this tomorrow". I stopped. Paused. And thought.
"Tomorrow. Indeed, why couldnt this wait until tomorrow."
Welcome to my new work life balance.
3) Be prepared to not live 'the good life'
Say goodbye to your personalized butler service, five star St. Regis, ability to charge food, drinks, laundry, phone bills...
Hello to cute little hotels (without windows) which are actually not that bad.
Learn to appreciate the other aspects of life. Like the fact that you get to stay in boutique hotels. Cute little non-chains which truth be told are unlikely to be any terrorist targets. Like the fact that you need to learn how to budget, to not spend every penny. To meticulously assess all your actions. To remember to count your own blessings
4) Be prepared to be thrown into the deep end
Dont know much about the topic? Dont really understand whats going on?? Leverage your consultant know how to ramp-up and speed up on topics at hand to be the expert you're meant to be. Which trust me can be quite challenging without your usual arsenal of consulting tools to pick up from
And lastly...
5) Stop speaking in bullet points
Stop using words like 'key' 'leverage'... stop with the consulting jokes.
Learn to speak like a normal person again.
Then live like a normal person again.
Monday, 6 June 2011
Not all those who wander are lost...
Welcome.
Let me be honest with you. I had been thinking for a while now, about a change in career. I was a paper pushing, slide making, excel junkie consultant. I enjoyed it for a little bit, the continuous change, the big questions, the strategies. I loved the life it gave me, afforded me. Making more than almost every single one of my peers. Being able to buy whatever I wanted without even thinking.
But there were downsides. I spent most nights dreading the morning. I barely got enough sleep. I lost too much weight, put on too much weight. I cried. A lot. I never wanted to leave my bed.
I had dreams. Ambitions. I wanted to dance. Read. Travel. Run. I wanted to pick up my bags and just disappear.
I wanted to just disappear.
So... after long deliberations, and long long thoughts. I worked together with my company to carve a way out for me, temporarily. I 'quit' my job. Though quitting is too strong a term. I am trying out new things. Moving out of my comfort zone. I am taking this year off, to wander, while at the same time. To remember, the person I used to be. The way I used to grow up. The hunger I used to have.
These will be my adventures
Let me be honest with you. I had been thinking for a while now, about a change in career. I was a paper pushing, slide making, excel junkie consultant. I enjoyed it for a little bit, the continuous change, the big questions, the strategies. I loved the life it gave me, afforded me. Making more than almost every single one of my peers. Being able to buy whatever I wanted without even thinking.
But there were downsides. I spent most nights dreading the morning. I barely got enough sleep. I lost too much weight, put on too much weight. I cried. A lot. I never wanted to leave my bed.
I had dreams. Ambitions. I wanted to dance. Read. Travel. Run. I wanted to pick up my bags and just disappear.
I wanted to just disappear.
So... after long deliberations, and long long thoughts. I worked together with my company to carve a way out for me, temporarily. I 'quit' my job. Though quitting is too strong a term. I am trying out new things. Moving out of my comfort zone. I am taking this year off, to wander, while at the same time. To remember, the person I used to be. The way I used to grow up. The hunger I used to have.
These will be my adventures
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